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I'm Not Dead



STUPID GIRLS
Maybe if I act like that.
That guy will call me back.
Porno paparazzi girls.
I don't wanna be a stupid girl.

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there.
Laughin' loud so all the little people stare.
Lookin' for a daddy to pay for the champagne.
Droppin' names.
What happened to the dream of a girl president?
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent.
They travel in packs of two or three.
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teenie weenie tees.
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?

Maybe if I act like that.
That guy will call me back.
Porno paparazzi girls.
I don't wanna be a stupid girl.
Maybe if I act like that.
Flippin' my blonde hair back.
Push up my bra like that.
I don't wanna be a stupid girl.

The disease is growing, it's epidemic.
I'm scared that there ain't a cure.
The world believes it and I'm going crazy.
I cannot take anymore!!!!!!
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in.
That will never be me.
Outcasts and girls with ambition.
That's what I wanna see!
Disasters all around.
A world of despair.
Your only concern-will it fuck up my hair???

Chorus (do ya think? do ya think? Do ya think?)

Pretty will you fuck me girl.
Silly I'm so lucky girl.
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl.
Stupid girl.
Pretty will you fuck me girl.
Silly I'm so lucky girl.
Pull my hair I'll suck it girl.
Stupid girl.
Maybe if I act like that.
Flipin' my blonde hair back.
Push up my bra like that.
Stupid girl.

Chorus out.



WHO KNEW
You took my hand, you showed me how.
You promised me you'd be around.
Uh huh that's right.
I took your words and I believed.
In everything you said to me.
Yah huh that's right.

If someone said three years from now.
You'de be long gone.
I'd stand up and punch them out.
'Cause they're all wrong.
I know better.
Cause you said forever.
And ever who knew?

Remember when we were such fools.
And so convinced and just too cool.
Oh no no no.
I wish I could touch you again.
I wish I could, still call you friend.
I'd give anything.

When someone said count blessings now.
'Fore they're long go.
I guess I just didn't know how.
I was all wrong.
But they knew better.
Still you said forever.
And ever who knew?

I'll keep you locked in my head.
Until we meet again.
Until we, until we meet again.
And I won't forget you my friend.
What happened?

If someone said three years from now.
You'de be long gone.
I'd stand up and punch them out.
'Cause they're all wrong.
That last kiss, I'll cherish
Until we meet again.
And time makes it harder.
I wish I could remember.
But I keep your memory.
You visit me in my sleep.
My darling.
Who knew?
My darling my darling.
Who knew?
My darling, I miss you, my darling.
Who knew?




LONG WAY TO HAPPY
One night to you, lasted six weeks for me.
Just a bitter little pill now, just to cry to go to sleep.
No more waking up to innocence, say hello to hesitance.
To everyone I meet.
Thanks to you, years ago, I guess I'll never know.
What love means to me, but oh.
I'll keep on rolling down this road.
But I've got bad, bad feeling.

It's gonna take a long time to love.
It's gonna take a lot to hold on.
It's gonna be a long way to happy.
Left in the pieces that you broke me into.
Torn apart but now I've got to.
Keep on rolling like a stone.
'Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy.

Left my childhood behind, in a rollaway bed.
Everything was so damn simple.
Now I'm losing my head, losing my head.
Trying to cover up the damage, and pat out all the bruises.
Too young to know I had it so it didn't hurt to lose it.
Didn't hurt to lose it, didn't hurt to lose it.
But oh, I'll keep on rolling down this road.
But I've got bad, bad feeling.

Chorus.

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing.
So don't worry about regret or guilt 'cause I never knew your name.
I just wanna thank you, thank you.
From the bottom to my heart.
For all the sleepless nights and for tearing me apart.

Chorus out.




NOBODY KNOWS
Nobody knows, nobody knows but me that I sometimes cry.
If I could pretend that I'm asleep when my tears start to fall.
And I peek out from behind these walls.
I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows, no.
Nobody likes, nobody likes to lose that inner voice.
The one I used to hear before my life made a choice.
But I think nobody knows, nobody knows.

Baby oh this sectret's safe with me.
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be.
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone.
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown.
And I've lost my way back home.
I think nobody knows no.
Nobody knows.

Nobody cares, it's win or lose, not how you play the game.
And the road to drakness has a way of always knowing my name.
But I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
No, no, no, no.

Baby oh this sectret's safe with me.
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be.
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone.
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown.
And I've lost my way back home.
I think nobody knows no.
Nobody knows.

No no no no no no no.
Tomorrow I'll be there my friend.
I'll wake up and start all over again.
When everybody else is gone.
No no no.
Nobody knows, nobody knows the rhythm of my heart.
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark.
And the world is asleep.
And I think nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows but me.
Me.




DEAR MR.PRESIDENT
Na, na, na, na, an, na, na, na.
Dear Mr. President come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend, we're just two people and.
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions, if we can speak honestly.
What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head hold high?
Can you even look me in the eye, and tell me why?

Dear Mr. President.
Where you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say, "no child is left behind".
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells.
While you pave the road to hell.
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say...
You've come a long way, from whiskey and cocaine!

Chorus.

Let me tell you 'bout hard work.
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away.
Let me tell you 'bout hard work.
Building a bed out of cardboard box.
Let me tell you 'bout hard work!
Hard work!
Hard work!
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work!
Hard work!
Hard work!!!!!!!!
How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President, you'd never take a walk with me.
Hmmm, would you?




I'M NOT DEAD
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's always cracks.
A crack of sunlight, acrack into the mirror, or on your lips.
It's the morning on a sunset Friday.
When all conversations twist.
It's the fifth of ice on a new tattoo.
But the ice should be on our heads.
We only spun the web to catch ourselves.
So we weren't left for dead.
And I was never lookin' for approval.
From anyone but you.
And laugh this journey over.
I'd go back if you asked me to.

I'm not dead, just floating.
Right between the ink on your tattoo.
In the belly of the beast we turned into.
I'm not scared, just changing.
Right behind the cigarette and the devilish smile.
You're my crack of sunlight.

You can do the math a thousand ways.
But you can't erase the facts.
That others come and others go.
But you always come back.
I'm the winter flower underground.
Always thirsty for summer rain.
And just like the changing seasons.
I know you'll be back again.

Chorus.

I'm not dead just yet.
I'm not dead, I'm just floating.
Doesn't matter where I'm going I'll find you.
I'm not scared at all.
Underneath the cuts and bruises find the game where no one loves.
I'll find you.
I will find you.
I'm not dead, just floating.
I'm not scared, just changing.
You're my crack of sunlight.




CUZ I CAN
P.I.N.K. P.I.M.P.
I'm back again I know y'all missed me.
I'm so sick can't handle it.
Yeah I talk shit just deal with it.
My rims are 23 inch, and they're black on black.
No they're not his.
Diamonds are over my teefs.
You can try and try you can't be me.

So I cash my checks and place my bets.
And hope I'll always win.
Even if I don't I'm fucked because.
I live a life of sin.
But it's alright, I don't give a damn.
I don't play your rules, I make my own.
Tonight I'll do what I want.
Cuz I can.

I know I'm rare, you stop and stare.
You think I care, I don't.
You talk real loud.
But you ain't sayin' nothing cool.
I can fit your whole house in my swimming pool.
My life's a fantasy.
That you're not smart enough to even dream. My ice is making me freeze.
You can try and try you can't beat me.

Chorus.

Yeah I'm super thick.
People say I'm much too chick.
Come and kiss the ring.
You just might learn a couple things.
I'm tryin' to school ya dogs.
Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff.
I'm your worst nightmare.
Bring it we can take it there.
What are you scared?

Chorus 2x.




LEAVE ME ALONE (I'M LONELY)
Go away, give me a chance to miss you.
Say goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you.
I love you so, so much more when you're not here.
Watchin' all the bad shows and drinkin' all of my beer.
I don't believe Adam Eve spent every goddamn day together.
If you gimme some room there will be room enough for two.

Tonight, leave me alone, I'm lonely (alone I'm lonely)
I'm tired, leave me alone I'm lonely, alone I'm lonely tonight!

I don't wanna wake up with another.
But I don't wanna always wake up with you either.
No you can't hop into my shower.
All I ask for is one fucking hour.
You taste so sweet but I can't eat the same thing every day.
Cutting of the phone, leave me fuck alone, and tomorrow I'll begging you to come home.

Chorus.

Go away, come back...go away, come back.
Why can't I just have it both ways.
Go away, come back...go away, come back.
I wish you knew the difference.
Go away, come back...
Go away, give me a chance to miss you.
Say goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you.
Go away, give me a chance to miss you.
Say goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you.
Go away, give me a chance to miss you.
Say goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you.

Chorus.





U+UR HAND
Check it out goin' out on the late night.
Lookin' tight feeling nice, it's a cock fight.
I can tell I just know that it's going down, tonight.
At the door we don't wait 'cause we know them.
A the bar six shots just beginnin'.
That's when dickhead put his hand on me.
But ya see.

I'm not here for your entertaiment.
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight.
Just stop and take a second.
I was fine before you walked into my life.
'Cause you know it's over, before it began.
Keep your drink just give me the money.
It's just you and your hand tonight.

Midnight I'm drunk, I don't give a fuck.
Wanna dance by myself guess you're out of luck.
Don't touch, back up, I'm not the one.
Buh-bye.
Listen up it's just not happenin'.
You can say what you want to your boyfriends.
Just let me have my fun tonight...alright.

Chorus.

You're in the corner with your boys, you bet them five bucks.
You'd get the girl that just walked in, but she thinks you suck.
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see.
So quit spilling your drinks on me.
You know you are.
Highfive and talking shit.
But you are going home alone.
Aren't ya?

Chorus 2x.




RUNAWAY
I've got my things packed.
My favorite pillow.
Got my sleeping bag.
Climb out the window.
All the pictures and pain.
I've left behind.
All the freedom and fame.
I've gotta find.
And I wonder how long it'll take them.
To notice that I'm gone.
And I wonder how far it'll take me, to run away.

Run away, run away, run away.
I was just trying to be myself.
You can go your way, I'll meet you in hell.
All these sectets that I shouldn't tell.
I've got to run away.
It's hypocritical of you.
Do as you say not as you do.
Ill never be your perfect girl.
I've got to run away.

Well I'm too young to be.
Taken seriously.
But I'm too old to believe.
All this hypocrisly.
And I wonder how long it'll take them.
Too see my bed is made.
And I wonder if I was a mistake.

I might have nowhere left to go.
But I know that I cannot go home.
These voices trapped inside my head.
Tell me to run before I'm dead.
Chase the rainbows in my mind.
And I will try to stay alive.
Maybe the world will know my name.
GOD won't you help me run away!
Run away, run away, run away.

I could sing for change on a Paris street.
Be a redlight dancer in New orleans.
I could start again, choose my family.
I could change my name, come and go as I please.
In the dead of night.
You'll wonder where I've gone...
But wasn't it you (wan't it you) wasn't it you that made me run away!

I was just trying to be myself.
You go your way, I'll meet you in hell.
All these secrets that I shouldn't tell.
I've got to run away.
It's hypocritical of you.
Do as you say not as you do.
I'll never be your perfect girl.
I've got to run away.
This life makes no sense to me.
I don't make any sense to me.
It don't make any sense to me.
Life don't make any sense to me.



THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
I stood by the exit door of the hotel cafe.
He was playing with his band.
I've always been a sucker had a weakness for a boy with a guitar and a drink in his hand.
His words were like heaven in my hurricane.
My knees buckled under.
I thought everyone was watching me.
Watching you save my life with the song.

You were mine.
In the back of my mind.
Oh just for one night.
Just for a while.

There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away.

Two weeks later I was sitting in his apartment.
He was making cappuchino.
I said what kind of man makes cappuchino.
We laughed.
We laughed.
We laughed.
We laughed til tears ran down my face.

Oh but my man you're someone elses man.
And that aint the man that I want.
But you keep drawing me in with those big brown lion eyes.

You'll always be mine.
In the back of my mind.
Oh we had a night.
Just a little wine.

There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away.

In a closed off corner of my heart yes.
I'll always see your face.
The one that got away.
One that got away.
The one that got away.
The one that got away.
Oh the one that got away.
The one that got away.
Oh the one that got away.
The one that got away.
Oh the one that got away.
Yeah yeah.
Oh oh oh oh.
Yeah yeah.
Oh.

I'm not a victim of cliches.
I don't believe in soul mates.
Happy endings only one.
Oh and I met you and all that changed.
I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue.

You were mine.
Somewhere in time.
I'll look for you first.
In my next life.

There's always one that gets away.
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away.
Slips away.
In a closed off corner of my heart yeah yeah yeah yeah.
I I'll always see your face.
The one that got away.
The one that got away.
The one that got away.
The one that got away.
Oh the one that got away.
The one that got away.
Oh the one that got away.
The one that got away.
The one that got away.
Yeah yeah.
Oh oh yeah.
The one that got away.




I GOT MONEY NOW
When I was a young buck.
I tried to be liked by.
Everyone.
Everyone.
I tried so hard to be funny and nice.
I tried so hard to be sugar and spice.
Didn't work for me.
Got old quickly.
But now I'm not losing sleep at night.
No one's calling me on the telephone.
To see if I'm at home.
Cause now I've got everything that I have ever wanted or so it seems.
Yeah so it seems yeah.

You don't.
Have to.
Like me.
Anymore.
I've got money now.
I don't care.
What you say.
About me.
Anymore.
I've got money now.

When I got a little older.
I realized.
It's all lies.
There is no prize.
There is no prize.
There is no heartache if you can afford.
Everything delivered right to your door.
Responsibilities.
This life is easy.
So now girl with everything.
How could she complain.
Cause she's got it made.
Yeah she's got it made.
I don't need to be tucked in at night.
Told that everything is gonna be alright.
Is gonna be alright.
Cause I don't have to fight.

Chorus.

I wouldn't trade a dollar for some sense.
I wouldn't trade a lifetime for some friends.
I've got everything.
And all is what it seems.
I worked so hard all of my life.
Just to have things I could call me.
I don't need no love.
Cause I have got enough.
So now I don't mind being alone all the time.
It's alright.
I've got money now.
That's what it's all about.
And I'm so busy buying things and traveling the world.
I don't have time for friends.
Or family.
And that's fine with me.
So it seems.

Chorus 2x.



CONVERSATIONS WITH MY 13 YEAR OLD SELF
Conversations with my thirteen year old self.
Conversations with my thirteen year old self.

You're angry.
I know this.
The world couldn't care less.
You're lonely.
I feel this.
And you wish you were the best.
No teachers.
Or guidance.
And you always walk alone.
You're crying.
At night when.
Nobody else is home.

Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling.
I promise you that it won't always feel this bad.
There are so many things I want to say to you.
You're the girl I used to be.
You little heartbroken thirteen year old me.

You're laughing.
But you're hiding.
God I know that trick too well.
You forget.
That I've been you.
And now I'm just the shell.
I promise.
I love you and
Everything will work out fine.
Don't try to.
Grow up yet.
Oh just give it some time.

The pain you feel is real you're not asleep but it's a nightmare.
But you can wake up anytime.
Oh don't lose your passion or the fighter that's inside of you.
You're the girl I used to be.
The pissed off complicated thirteen year old me.

Conversations with my thirteen year old self.
Conversations with my thirteen year old self.

Until we meet again.
Oh I wish you well oh.
I wish you well.
Little girl.
Until we meet again.
Oh.
I wish you well.
Little girl.
I wish you well.
Until we meet again.
My little thirteen year old me.




BONUS TRACK: FINGERS
Iím alone now.
Staring at the ceiling.
Iím kinda bored now.
I canít sleep.
And you and me canít make my life complete.
When you come you slip into a dream.

When itís late at night.
And youíre fast asleep.
I let my fingers do the walking.
I basically become a phene.
And no one else is watching.
I let my fingers do the walking.

Iím starving.
For some attention.
Iím begging, pleading, bleeding.
For a suggestion.
I bite my tongue because I wanna scream.
Iím almost there and you turn and look at me.
.
Chorus.

Rewind and you will see.
Why in the morning.
Iím happy.
Right there on the tv screen.
Me vengo, me vengo.

Iím restless.
You need some caffeine.
But Iím wasted.
If you could only see.
Cause I need more than you are gonna give.

Chorus 2x.




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